Let go of the outcome

Like over 100 million people around the world, I am going to watch the Super Bowl on Sunday.   I love championship games as a face-off between great teams and coaches.   I will be rooting for Aaron Rodgers, a Cal grad, and his Green Bay Packers but I am disappointed they are not facing Tom Brady and the New England Patriots. The Patriots won 14 of 16 regular season games, the best record in the league.  Brady and Coach Bill Belichick were individually regarded as the best in the game this year, being named the AP Offensive Player and Coach of the Year, respectively.   It is interesting and somewhat exceptional that these two awards went to people not in the game on Sunday.  By comparison, the Defensive Player of the Year, Troy Polamalu, and the runner-up, Clay Matthews, are the defensive leaders of the Steelers and Packers, the two teams playing on Sunday.

I am quite sure that Brady and Belichick would trade their awards in a nano-second for the chance to play in the Super Bowl.

Key Catch in 2008 Super Bowl

The Pats are consistently one of the best teams and Brady is generally regarded as one of the top two or three quarterbacks but they haven’t won a Super Bowl since 2005.   They made it back to the big game in 2008, capping the only undefeated 16 game season in the history of the league.  They faced the Giants in the Super Bowl and were leading 14-10 with less than 3 minutes to go.  They had the Giants cornered in a 3^rd and 5 situation with 1:15 to go on their own 44 yard line.   Giant’s QB Eli Manning dropped back to pass and was nearly sacked but escaped and threw the ball to David Tyree who made one of the most improbable catches ever, pinning the ball on his helmet with just one hand.  From there the Giants were able to score the winning touchdown while Tom Brady watched from the sidelines.

How small is the margin between a great team and a championship?  A while back, I wrote a post titled 1° makes all the difference about the incredible expertise, courage, grace and sometimes luck found in the tiny margins between victory and defeat.  Like David Tyree’s catch.

Brady will be 34 years old by the start of next season and is in his final years as a top player.  John Elway was the oldest quarterback ever to win a Super Bowl at the age of 38.  So, as good as the Pats are, I wonder how many more chances Tom Brady will get?

With sports as a metaphor, the real question I’m asking is how many more chances will I get?  How many more shots at that job, that big deal, that goal…?

I feel a strong sense of urgency around my goals these days.  I resonate with Tom Brady who must sense the limitations of his football career.  I have more great years of my career left than he does but I’m also aware of an end that I didn’t used to consider.  Similarly, I’m sure that Brady didn’t consider the pressure of his years when he first won the Super Bowl at the age of 24, the youngest quarterback at that time to win the game.

With that in mind, I feel compelled to “make it happen”.  Not unlike an athlete’s determination on the field, I have learned that extreme effort and total focus can lead to great results.  I try to find the 10 things, no the 100 things, to overcome the 1° between victory and defeat.  Never give up.  Never stop believing.

Does it always work?  No.  So, here’s a key piece of wisdom from my great friend and coach, Michael MacNeill whose birthday I celebrated this week.  “Give your all.  Let go of the outcome.”

You can’t control what life brings you.  You can’t control the market or prevent natural disasters.  You can’t make the other person say yes.  Unlike football, most goals in life revolve around relationships.  Finding the win-win solution involves listening, understanding, trust and a compatible desire on the other side of the table.  Driving the ball down their throat is a coarse football analogy that doesn’t work so well off the field.

When you let go of the outcome, there is room for unexpected, unpredictable new directions.  For results greater than you could have imagined.  For grace.  And, for relief from self-loathing and blame that comes with defeat when you are sure you can make it happen. 

The hardest part is knowing when giving your all gets in the way of letting go of the outcome.  I struggle with it every day.